It’s no secret that more people are choosing to ditch dating apps in favour of finding a connection in person. But, as a single 30-something female living in the digital age, it can feel almost impossible to meet your next match without the help of a dating app or two.
That’s where Thursday comes in. Dubbed ‘The Biggest IRL Dating Brand in The World’ they host singles-only events across the globe, with the aim of getting people talking in real life, not behind screens.
A couple of my single gals invited me along to a Thursday singles event in Birmingham, hosted at The Cocktail Club. I was going to be in Birmingham for work and, like usual, my Thursday evening was wide open, so I took them up on the offer. My dating story reads like most people’s, downloaded a couple of dating apps, chatted with a few people, got ghosted, went on a date, got ghosted, spent hours swiping and six months later here I am, still well and truly single. So really, I had nothing to lose.
I met my two girlfriends for dinner and we talked about our apprehensions for the night ahead. I’m an introvert, so naturally, I worry about awkward silences when I can’t think of anything to say. I’m also a people pleaser so I had visions of spending two hours talking to a guy I had no interest in because god forbid, he might get offended if I said ‘Sorry, I’m just not that into you.’
The event started at 7 pm but we arrived fashionably late, just after 8 pm. We certainly didn’t want to be the first to arrive. In hindsight, this was a better alternative to walking into a sea of people, all of which seemed to have their eyes locked on anyone new entering the room. There were no corners left to hide in, so we ordered our drinks at the bar and found the nearest empty table – right in the middle of the room. Within seconds of us putting our drinks down, guys were approaching from every angle. It was like something out of a movie. The first guy I spoke to was a sweet guy called Matt. He was the same age as me and had come alone. A lot of the guys had come alone and were making some serious effort to talk to the women in the room and for that, I applaud them.
After a bit of forced conversation (on my part) and some rather large sips of rosé to settle the nerves, we made a break for the bathroom. None of us had hit it off with any of the guys who had initially approached us so we decided to regroup near the bar. The place was filling up and it was about 80% males in the room at this point. I’d expected to be making some new girlfriends at this event so the fact it wasn’t a room full of females was pleasantly surprising.
Back at the bar I was starting to feel a little overwhelmed. It’s ironic isn’t it, we complain that we want guys to be more forward, to talk to us, ask us for our number, maybe even ask us on a date, but in reality, it’s pretty daunting having a guy make a beeline for you because you made eye contact. Which is exactly what happened next.
Before I knew it, the guy to my right was introducing himself as Joe. I’d made eye contact with him on one of the few occasions I was brave enough to raise my head from my glass of wine. It was a little awkward at first but we made light of the fact we were both nervous. This wasn’t his first rodeo. After chatting effortlessly and bonding over a love of travel and surfing we moved to a quieter place to carry on the conversation, the music was a little too loud for any meaningful conversation. He closed the conversation by saying ‘I’m conscious that this is an event for mingling and I don’t want to take up all of your time’ then asking for my number. Hooray, I hadn’t offended him earlier when I’d guessed he was 35. He was 32.
After a couple of hours and one more request for my number, which I politely declined, he was 23, I’m almost 33, we left the event. With an hour until the next train home, we crossed the street to Flight Club for one last drink. But having guys flock to us and ask us for our number without weeks of hoping and guessing, sparked something in us all. A newfound confidence. We were shamefully checking out every guy who passed us, asking cloakroom attendants for their number and smiling at any male who looked our way.
The verdict:
At a time when more and more people are looking to disconnect from their phones and connect in person, these single events hold great potential.
It did feel slightly unnatural to me, possibly because I’m an introvert who doesn’t particularly enjoy small talk. I find it overwhelming getting to know multiple people at one time on dating apps, as it can feel superficial and being in a room full of potential matches felt much the same. However, it was a fun way to spend a Thursday night and if the girls asked me to go again, I’d give it another shot.
If you’re considering attending one of these singles events, I’d say round up your single friends and go for it! With tickets costing less than £10, it’s worth a try. How else would you be spending your Thursday?
It could also be a great way to meet people if you’re solo travelling as these events take place in 70 cities around the world. Next time I’m in a different country, I’ll be sure to check out the event list on the Thursday app. They’re also hosting a singles ski trip in 2025, perfect if you want some adventure but struggle to get your friends to commit. Now that sounds like my kind of thing. Travel, adventure and the potential to meet the love of your life? More of this please, Thursday.
Update: The guy who took my number didn’t message me. In a typical play by the universe though, I did bump into him in a bar a week later. His opening line was ‘This must be fate’ to which I responded ‘Well, it could have been if you’d messaged me.’ Turns out he’s also a liar because he’d told his friend that he had messaged me. I had an opportunity to find out why he didn’t message me but I didn’t take it. Some people aren’t even worth a minute of your time.
